my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
This is the high leading the old right now
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize