I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
