i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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