I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
