she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
