I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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