He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
