Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
