I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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