is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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