He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
