you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
