I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
