That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
