also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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