Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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