i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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