my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
