Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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