Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
