Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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