$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
