her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
