I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
They are going to name an STD after you.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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