I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I need to calm my uterus...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize