I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
