i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
