remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
