at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize