ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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