I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
