Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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