She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
