Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Someone signed my nipple.
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