Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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