I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
