Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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