question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have already put on my inside pants.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
