Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
