I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize