apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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