Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
