do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
