As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
