Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.

Fav 32 11988 1710
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(773): View more from Illinois

I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.

Fav 8 1339 5731
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?

Fav 28 5353 2033
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(303): View more from Colorado

we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.

Fav 6 3743 1231
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(917): View more from New York City

I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.

Fav 5 1099 1951
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(630): View more from Illinois

There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.

Fav 2 324 209
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(631): View more from New York

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!

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