break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
they're like a gay fantastic four
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How does one acquire holy water?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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