Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
