yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
