did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
