Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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