I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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