after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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