I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize