You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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