I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
