Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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