Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
