So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
